I'm a bad man, I know…

…but I couldn't resist. Whilst holding Elina tonight during visiting hours (well, during the visiting half-hour!), I noticed she was getting hungry––the darting tongue, the roving head, the semi-yawn––and leaned my nose in. Bing! She took to it so well I thought milk might start coming out of my nose. Betty scolded me––it's true, I didn't sterilize my nose––but I broke the suction and gave Elina another shot. Bing!

The nurse told Betty Elina's eyeballs have a little residual yellowness in them, but she was wide awake when we got there tonight and seemed very chipper. I noticed she even had little tears in her eyes after sneezing, so I think she's much better hydrated now. I know Betty's getting very confident about her capacity to breastfeed Elina and she's got over some glandular occlusion Thursday night. We're hoping Elina's blood test will show nothing serious, and that she can go to Sanxia tomorrow at lunch or after.

Well, where were we?

I managed to sleep a good four hours, but then woke to Betty saying she was "shaking again." The nurse suggested it might be due to the lidocaine. I got her some hot water, used the bathroom, and when I returned, she felt much better, had stopped shaking. Not being able to fall asleep again immediately, I decided it was time for an update, so aren't you lucky! In my grogginess, I imagined myself in very old film footage, the kind used for home videos or news reels in the Thirties or so. Sped up, jumpy, grainy, overexposed. There I was, on a city sidewalk at midday, in front of my small business, handing cigars and pats on the back to my friends as we made cheesy, machu poses for the camera. "I'm a father now, you hear, and that's my daughter, greatest thing in the world, and I'm the luckiest SOB in the world, now have a cigar!" Why let Hollywood's inveterate melancholy and leeching cynicism about marriage and the family rob me of my divine right to be archly proud of my offspring and atavistically loyal to my wife? Drama and woe sell, but the small way of humility, simplicity, and piety is the path of everlasting life.

Last night after 11, I went for a walk to pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy. It greatly calmed and encouraged me, and I came back to Betty feeling like a decent enough husband, and like at least a basically striving Catholic. This Lent has been harder for me than others of recent memory. That's all for the good, however, since it may suggest I'm taking up that much more of my share in the Cross. As we pray during the Stations, "We adore You, O Christ, and we bless You, because by Your holy cross, You have redeemed the world."

Betty's sleeping now, so I'll shut up and imagine myself having a cigar.

Updates from the hospital...

After a second hit of the lidocaine, Betty is feeling golden. Her lower right side is basically numb, but the left side still has more feeling. Apparently her contractions have become nicely periodic and steady, so the doc says there's no need to induce. So, we're looking at a March 13th birth, and I'd very much like to claim St. Matilda of Nordhausen as Elina's patron saint. Matilda is a very interesting saint, and what's more, she's German! As a German major who became a Catholic, I'm tickled to imagine my daughter learning not only the Faith, but also die prächtige deutsche Sprache!

LINK: http://www.google.com.tw/search?hl=en&gl=tw&client=ms-android-htc&source=android-browser-goto&q=matilda+catholic+saint&sky=mrdr

Updates from the hospital...

We arrived around 2pm and got a standby room right away. After about an hour we learned that Betty was dilated to 3cm. About fifteen minutes ago she got the epidural and 1cc of lidocaine, feeling pleasant. I'm very opposed to a hasty induction so we're just seeing how things go. As it stands, things are going much faster than I had anticipated. Hail Mary, full of grace. ...

Florida boy, bookish jock, majored in German & philosophy, went to Taiwan & went Catholic, now happily married father of one, aspiring professor-author.